Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
