Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
