if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Having a random hookup so left but love u
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
