I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
