haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
love makes seman taste better
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
