you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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