Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
if only i could text you this smell
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
