So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
and you fell through a lawn chair
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize