if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
