please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
