My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
