is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
