Buhtt sex?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
