I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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