i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
