Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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