I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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