I bet he comes in French.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
