I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize