What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
