What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
