i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
