Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
