im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
