she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
