Girls should come with a carfax report
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
