there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
