we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
