She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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