I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
