bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
