she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize