i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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