i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
