CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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