and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
