Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
