They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Be still, my beating vagina.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
