we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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