hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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