i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
