Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
