i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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