apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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