i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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