the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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