Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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