My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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