did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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