he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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