Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
