When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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