Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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