Porn is love you can see.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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