I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How does one acquire holy water?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
