where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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